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Your a bad influence Mr. Journal!

That compulsive blogspot, how I shake my fingers at you. You've helped me come to terms with the idea that all of those little voices inside my head, all the issues that have hit me like a stun gun, can be expressed for no one to really want to read! Its so much termoil it keeps me awake at night time! Makes my blood sugars soar! And finds a way to wedge the relationship.

No, not really. But thats what my life sounds like. If its not one problem, its another one. It takes me about five minutes to write a blog ( this is a small guesstimation -no i cant spell- ), yet for some reason, this little creative writing monster inside of me can keep me awake all night? Did it ever occur to anyone that its not the act of blogging that makes it so I can't sleep, its real life issues that are stressing me out? Like, maybe I'm trying to solve them, or figure out where I'm going, and sometimes one just needs a little shake up? No.. its Blogspot. Definately your fault.

Here's a little thing you might already know about me. I used to wear baggy jeans, color my hair the ambience of the rainbow, and have chains that weighted down the back ends of my ass and probably softened up my hip for my old age retirement. However, the image doesnt make the person who they are, the person does. I held the door for people, said please and thank you, never stole things from a store, and certainly didn't push kids down in the playground. Yet, I had that teenager pink hair style with the punk look. But my colors had nothing to do with who I am. People today are all talking about the kids in society, how after the age of 20 you can only have natural highlights, wear classy pants, and have heels on your boots. Childrens clothes are getting tighter and smaller. Here's a little piece of advice. If the parents didn't help them buy the stuff, they wouldn't be showing half their nipples off while waiting for the bus at the bus stop okay? And two, not everyone that is wearing a fashion trend, becomes that fashion trend. Now I know, that there are a few that have taken this trashy persona to a new level, throwing garbage all over the streets, cursing every five seconds,and bumming the hard working smoker their last cigarette on their way to work, but for me, I made my personality my choice, and the color of my skin, hair, eyes, clothes, or what I choose to express, doesnt mean that I have no respect in public, just means I desire a little more freedom than .... dress pants.. dress pants.. dress pants.. Not to say I dont like looking respectable, I've come to quite like the idea that people look at me as I'm a person now that I've quite simply -grown out of my youth-, but once in awihle I like to know that if I were to be playful one day and put streaks of green in my hair, my family, friends, and loved ones wouldn't turn their backs on me.

I've worked in fast food most of my life. And I hate my life, 90% of the time, yet I always manage even when I feel like getting hit by a bus, or already feel I've been hit by a bus, to go to work with a happy go lucky face, attitude, a smile, and try and make the best of what I really dont have. So yeah, I look happy working at a Tim Hortons. I'm really not.

I've had to give up a lot of privilages, and personal ambition, as well as lots of money and a good credit rating, to survive in life. I've made a lot of good and more so than not bad choices in working my way into where I want to go, and how life actually works. And I have to say, a lot of the time, it goes un noticed. Which is fine, the lack of appreciation I can handle, throwing it in my face though, is a completely different story.

If you haven't begun to realise, my issue today is stupid people with stupid assumptions.. Dont be a chump. Look past the face make up and actually breathe some life into society, before we turn it into one big plastic shopping mall.


Sincerely,
Me

posted by Kendra Robillard @ 7:14 p.m.