m0us3

Under the Covers

What is loyalty? Honor? Trust?

Is it what we choose to believe in, or with? Is it the epitome of our existance, something that we can't simply resist?

I've always loved to move around, to mix things up, I get bored.. Hair color has to change, moods, I dont know if it is inherited, or if I was originally supposed to be born with wings and live outside, where I could see everything I wanted, go anywhere I wanted.. I couldn't imagine my life any other way.

I knew when I got away from my family that I'd have my doubts in myself.. If I could do it, find a job, keep it up, hold off the bill collectors.. But things are going smoothly.. But I dont want to sit still, I want to keep moving up.. Keep moving.. Keep leaping to the next level, the next stage.. I want to see everything I can before I can't anymore. I dont know how I'd be if I had someone holding onto me so tightly, I couldn't move. Guilting me to have to stay put, guilting me until I could not be who I was anymore..

I suppose thats why I'm so frusterated..
"well its hard for someone who's always had an easy life to adjust to the real world,"
"Well his parents coddled him, its hard to let go,"
"His parents just are having a hard time letting go,"

Everything is one excuise after another.. He's not ready, he's getting used to it.. His family isn't used to it.. When are they going to be? I dont want to keep waiting for him to grow up, for his parents to trust me and him. For him to move on with his life, instead of holding onto his childhood..

I can't understand him cause my father was hard on me, because I always seemed to get the hard road in life.. But, still! Its been months, you can't keep making excuises for yourself..

Using disease and sickness, and "not used to it" excuises for why you cannot do things... You keep making excuises for yourself and thats all you'll be, is an excuise.. It makes me so.. ANGRY! I just want to beat down everyone around me and walk over top of them, and away..

IT SUCKS!
Kendra-Dawn

posted by Kendra Robillard @ 11:24 a.m.