m0us3

Everything Zen

So you think that maybe if you scratch someone's back that they will be jumping willing mad to scratch yours.

Working until next Thursday without days off.. Because I choose to volunteer, not by force.. Its extra hours.

So I've been talking to my ex, he's been talking about song lyrics with me, hopes for the future. Everything comes in blurs and then its gone again, like I can remember things for a short moment, then something else comes up, and I can't remember it anymore.

So I look out the window and instead of seeing my backyard I see apartment buildings, and then its a haze again and I expect to see the pool and the deck. I guess its just memories that I can't get rid of, not that I'd ever go back to my home town, remembering and visiting is fine, but would I actually go back if I had the chance? no. redo's are never a good thing, if you redo something, then you'll never learn.. So redo's are bad.

Andrea is coming up, she'll get to see the Christmas decorations, and the messy apartment room.. i've been meaning to do a good cleaning, but I get tired after work. So how do moms do it.. With the work, raising children, and cleaning up the house at the same time? I guess thats why they invented parental leave that isn't unique only to Canada.. But that is just not enough..

I was talking to this guy with glasses at McDonalds.. He says that they're always screaming for women octranspo bus drivers,and they're always looking for women to work in lcbo stores.. Wierd.. He was saying I should get a better job.. but I'm thinking.

I can't drive. So he came up with a solution.

Get your G1.. Okay.. So life is simple, I could just GO and get it.. But that requires time, energy and a vehicle. Not that my dad didn't just order up a new car or anything and would prolly fix and give me the van if I truely desired it.. But insurance and gas is enough, plus it'll take a good while to get my G. And be able to follow the family name of bus drivers... yuck.

So thats just out of the question. however on the agenda, is to find a second part time job.. to give more money to the, I really wanna move out fund.. And the.. "Buying better things is good." not to mention the 200.00 Rogers bill I'll have in January.. you know for the phone, internet and cable all in one.

I suppose it isn't bad, I just really want to get my life a little more financially stable. Which brings up another point.. Isn't the point of life to be living? Is this living, or are we saving up so that we can live in retirement.. not that pensions wont be going bust by then anyways.. Figures.

Sincerely,
Kendra-Dawn

posted by Kendra Robillard @ 1:06 p.m.