m0us3

Warm FuZzies

I'm bubbles...

Actually i'm kind of not bubbly right now.. well.. see I was.
Then I found out that my ex and my.. "date to the semi formal" had a meet an greet at Tim Hortons, which of course I had no idea about because.. well I dont live in Arnprior.. And my x is warning me about him, and he used behind my back to call me a whore to my x to cheer him up.. ..

Which is rather two faced.. So what gives?

There really has to be something more to life than pig headed losers, who would throw you away in the dime to the grates just because the sunshine looks better through a damned picture window.. yeah that made no sense.. The point is is that I'm obviously expendable when the time is appropriate.. Not to say that I've made the best choices in life, but more or less the monkey of a butt ugly town like Arnprior.. So I suppose this is to say, that since I dont live there any more, I've washed my hands clean of everything that has to do with Arnprior, minus my little brother.

Honestly... Loyalty? Does anyone carry it anymore?

Its almost like a tug of war.. My mother was watching this, G.I. Jane movie, and I found it quite interesting how the woman had to state that she wasn't making a statement about womans rights because she was afraid she'd be treated as a hero.. but by trying to swim against the stream so hard, it made her a hero even more, and the fact she felt she had to proove this, and state it, made her even more of an icon.

So by saying that I've washed my hands clean of this gossip.. Does that mean I too think I have something to proove? That I am higher, more mature, or one step ahead of those that seem to play sides to become the victor of some popularity game? Will it then in turn pay my rent? And make my life the meaning of all glory? I think not..

Does this make me insecure, this gossip, that it makes me shake and by doing so I have had to state my innocence? Do I feel like someone has stepped on me like a door mat and am close to surrendering because of being some sort of monkey in a social game?

Hell no.. It just pisses me off..

Lesson learned.
Kendra-Dawn

posted by Kendra Robillard @ 8:19 a.m.