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late night

I'm really kind of tired tonight..
Just painted the bathroom two different shades of blue.. I'm not sure if I like it at the moment..I mean its not bad looking.. its just, I dont know.. ugly type of paint? water based, so..I'm wondering if that was a good idea...

The room I'm staying in is going to be the same colors.. Picked up winnie the pooh picture to snap up in the bathroom, gonna take down the posters and actually organize where to put them back up, as well as re-arrange the room... I get bored VERY easily.

Of course, this IS a work in progress.. I mean whilest I'm working all the time, I'll be surprised if all my projects get done before January.. Not that I'm displeased.. But irritated.. Its not like I'm getting full attention and help from those that live with me in this apartment, but its my project so I guess I can't complain -too- much.. But there, I complained.. all is well.

My little brother is here, spending the weekend.. Makes me realize the reason I was put in this crappy family I live in.. Him! I buy him hockey cards when I get off work every morning.. As many as I can, making him happy makes everything okay...

Bill has been sick for the past couple of days.. Christmas coming up, with expenses and all, takes all the joy out of everything.. But I put up some lights, the christmas tree -not a world class beauty mind you- and a little snow town on my moms dresser that has lodged itself into the living room.. I AM going to re-arrange and clean up the living room... all in due time!

So do I actually have a point or thought to this late night blog post other than I'm wired off of paint fumes and soda? Not sure.. I've been reading in the news about the poor hostages in Iraq.. It makes me shiver at what they must be feeling... But the world chews on the hearts of those who care for something other than business.. I guess that further answers the opinion of Alex, that you should look out for number one, or its just too much to take.

I can't help wonder that if there were more than a minority of people who cared, that maybe that opinion or -theory- as I would most like to call it could be disprooved.. But is that likely to happen? Maybe our doomed fates are written in stone, and those that try to sway the mighty hands of fate, get knocked down by fate as a warning not to mess with the master design? Do we all get what we deserve then? Or is one donation to the childrens charity before christmas class as a pat on the back and make you a good person.. Well it doesn't..

Those who are out on the street handing out sandwiches to those that are truely on the street because of poverty, and not those that have spent it on alcohol and drugs really are the heros.. Not that I'm saying people who have an alcohol addiction should be left to rot. They have a problem.. But you dont kick people while they're down.. And you dont ignore them even if they look like bad people.. They just need one of those step ladders to get where they want to be.

My teacher at a bible camp once told me that its easier for people to pull you down, than it is for you to pull them up... Gravity seems to work with negative energy on that part..

I may not still be into Christianity ( although maybe tis the only thing that people can have blind hope for ) but she had a point. Working with those that are down for the count and in the streets, can tear you apart.. Its dangerous, and they can take you down with them... Yet why do some people do it?

Because out of the 10 people that will always live that way and never change, 1 person might actually appreciate it.. And it might do something..

So is all that heartbreak worth that one person? Or should you stay clear because of the other 10?

I'd like to think that the one person is worth the effort.. But lately I've been having that doubt.. Had I been asked this question a few months ago.. I would have said definately worth it... now.. I think the business world and debt has gotten to my compassion...

Sincerely,
Kendra

posted by Kendra Robillard @ 4:27 a.m.